As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
is that a dick in a sweater?
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