i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
This show inspires me to have sex in space
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
