Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
