The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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