hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
