He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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