That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
