Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
