I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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