I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
