I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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