I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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