$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize