yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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