Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
