i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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