Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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