I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My hand turned me down
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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