The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
