Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think people are normalizing furries
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
