I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
