Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
