She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize