In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
