True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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