Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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