omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
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Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
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you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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