i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
