I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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