you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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