Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
