I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
