just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This is the high leading the old right now
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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