Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
