Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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