omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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