wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
