ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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