upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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