i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
