I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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