puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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