I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We need a shit load of segways right now
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died