Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.