4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.