so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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