i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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