Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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