When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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