Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
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we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
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My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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