Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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