my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
