great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
