i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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