Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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