Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They have beer where we have blood.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize