I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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