So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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