Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
tell me about the fingering
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