Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
