glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Less talking, more tequila
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
