wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
