Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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