I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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