tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
