How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
