You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
