Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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