mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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