paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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